Welcome to Therapy

Written by Dr. Joanna Love, Licensed Psychologist

What is therapy?

You’re reading this because you are seeking healing for yourself or someone you love, and you think therapy could be a source of that healing. Whether you have been thinking about therapy for a while or are just considering it for the first time, seeking information – reading this post – is an important step on your healing journey. 

However, as you may already have found, some of the language and ideas connected to therapy can be overwhelming and confusing. The goal of this post is to demystify the therapy experience, and equip you with some basic information to move forward.

There are many ways to experience healing. Why therapy?

It’s true: there are a range of things that can contribute to positive growth and healing in your life. 

For example, the mind and body are connected, so taking care of your body is one way to feel better inside and out. Physical movement is great for stress reduction. A healthy diet helps your body to function better. 

Spiritual approaches have helped people for millennia. You may find healing through faith, prayer, beauty, nature, and music.

Living a balanced life, caring for your mind, body, and spirit, and paying attention to your whole self can both heal and maintain health. However, it is very common to need additional support from outside yourself to achieve the full health you are seeking. Research has taught us that going to therapy can be a strong source of healing for most people.

What’s the difference between therapy and counseling?

Therapy, psychotherapy, and counseling are different words that generally mean the same thing. That said, there are many different types of therapy. 

A few examples:

• Psychodynamic therapy uses techniques focused more on understanding emotions and gaining insight into yourself

• Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) tends to focus on understanding thoughts and belief that affect feelings, and changing behaviors through action-oriented strategies

• Other approaches focus on your context within a family or community, cultural influences, or existential concepts like identity and purpose

Your therapist may lean toward a specific school of thought, area of research, or focus. Therapists may also integrate multiple techniques and approaches in their work, depending on your specific needs. 

These differences can sometimes be explained by the type of training your therapist received. Your therapist may have a masters degree in counseling, clinical social work, or a doctoral degree in psychology. All therapists are licensed by the state to provide mental health services.

Why does therapy work?

Therapy is more than a list of strategies and helpful recommendations. Therapy works because it is based in a relationship. Relationship is a powerful context for healing that can’t be found through something like a self-help book, or an individual practice like meditation. 

However, therapy is unlike any other relationship that you may experience, because it is at once intimate while also being transactional. It is intimate because your therapist keeps your true thoughts safe, and creates space that contains your deeper feelings. But it is transactional, because you pay a fee for a service that your therapist provides.

The unique attributes of the therapist + client relationship are why therapy is successful for many people. 

You’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.

There is nothing wrong with seeking help through therapy. In the same way someone may work with a personal trainer, physical therapist, or doctor to improve their physical health, seeking therapy is an investment in your personal wellness.

Many human experiences can feel crazy. Things like panic attacks or flashbacks to traumatic events might make you feel crazy; as if you’re going out of your mind or leaving your body. Unwanted thoughts that keep popping into your mind or behaviors you feel you can’t control might seem to make no sense. Some people feel sad or anxious for so long, it starts to feel as if it is part of who they are. 

Regardless of the nature of your struggle, there is good news: Our behaviors and feelings can be explained, and healing is possible. There is always hope for healing. Therapy can help.

Mindful Eating During the Holidays

With Thanksgiving later this week, we are all likely to encounter dinner tables filled with bountiful, appealing food options and parties with snack tables of tasty treats. Whether or not you participate in a Thanksgiving meal, food is often tied to various cultural traditions and serves to bring people together. For many of us, the act of cooking for others is a display of our love. While sharing a meal with others and treating ourselves can increase our happiness, we must be aware of the point at which we are no longer intentional about our eating habits. 

This Thanksgiving, challenge yourself to approach eating in a mindful way. One of the most basic ways to do this is to tune into the experience and sensations of eating. Before you even take a bite, observe your plate of food. Really notice the details you see, and pick up on any smells you encounter. By appreciating your food and noticing the details of it instead of digging in rapidly, you can slow down the process of eating. Also, briefly imagine the work that went into preparing the meal. As you take your first bite, focus on the taste, chewiness, and texture. Try setting down your fork between bites. 

Another suggestion for mindful eating is to eat foods you like. As you fill your plate, don’t take servings of everything offered if you won’t enjoy all the food. Just because it is available doesn’t mean it will nourish you or feel satisfying to eat. Start with small servings of a few items, knowing you can always go back for more if your stomach tells you you’re still hungry. 

Finally, be aware of vulnerabilities you may have going into the gathering or party. If you’re exhausted or overwhelmed, recognize that you may be prone to stress-eating. Try to stick with your regular routines, like engaging in physical activity and eating a healthy breakfast the day of so your body doesn’t get thrown off prior to the Thanksgiving meal. 

Tune-in with yourself so you can feel good about your eating choices and enjoy your time with loved ones. 

References

Albers, S. (2015). 8 Ways to Eat Mindfully During the Holidays. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/comfort-cravings/201511/8-ways-eat-mindfully-during-the-holidays

Collins, C. (2018). 7 Habits for Eating Mindfully During the Holidays. Retrieved from https://camillestyles.com/wellness/mindful-eating-habits-during-holidays/
Willard, C. (2019). 6 Ways to Practice Mindful Eating. Retrieved from https://www.mindful.org/6-ways-practice-mindful-eating/

How to Quiet Your Inner Critic

We all have a voice inside our minds that speaks to us. For some of us, this voice is louder than for others. When the voice gets going, it often sounds pretty critical. “You shouldn’t have done it that way,” “How silly of you!” “There’s no way they’re going to text you back,” “I wish I was cooler/smarter/more attractive.” This judgmental voice isn’t helpful, but often feels impossible to ignore. Negative thoughts get in the way of our work, social, and personal lives, and we don’t need to give them power over us. Here are a few tips on quieting that inner critic:

1. Give the voice a name. Call it your “self-doubt narrator,” “Negative Nancy,” or “worry talk.” In this way, you can create some distance between you and the voice. 

2. Observe the thoughts and condense them into a few words or a sentence. If you keep getting stuck on, “I’m worthless and I can’t do this,” try putting the phrase to a tune like the ABC’s or Happy Birthday. Not only will this make you smile as you picture the self-judgments as song lyrics, you will have a new perspective on the words. 

3. Say the negative thoughts out loud. Hopefully this is an auditory reminder that these are just thoughts, not facts. 

4. Remember that thoughts always pass. Thoughts and critical statements often feel really big and painful, but if we can let them pass and fade away instead of clinging to them, they will eventually lose their power and sting. Each moment brings with it space for new thoughts and emotions. 

5. Focus on your breathing. Calm your central nervous system by bringing your attention to your breath. Notice the sensation as your breath moves in and out. If your body is overwhelmed or stressed out, your mind will be, too. Use this knowledge to quiet your mind by tending to your body. 

6. Boost positive emotions and do activities you enjoy. To counteract the negativity of your inner critic, do things that brighten your mood and make you feel good about yourself. This will strengthen your self-confidence so the negative voice gets drowned out or hopefully has a lesser impact on you. 

References

Ritchie, L. C. (2019). Feeling Insecure? 6 Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critic. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/09/26/764695490/feeling-insecure-6-tips-to-quiet-your-inner-critic.