We all have a voice inside our minds that speaks to us. For some of us, this voice is louder than for others. When the voice gets going, it often sounds pretty critical. “You shouldn’t have done it that way,” “How silly of you!” “There’s no way they’re going to text you back,” “I wish I was cooler/smarter/more attractive.” This judgmental voice isn’t helpful, but often feels impossible to ignore. Negative thoughts get in the way of our work, social, and personal lives, and we don’t need to give them power over us. Here are a few tips on quieting that inner critic:

1. Give the voice a name. Call it your “self-doubt narrator,” “Negative Nancy,” or “worry talk.” In this way, you can create some distance between you and the voice.

2. Observe the thoughts and condense them into a few words or a sentence. If you keep getting stuck on, “I’m worthless and I can’t do this,” try putting the phrase to a tune like the ABC’s or Happy Birthday. Not only will this make you smile as you picture the self-judgments as song lyrics, you will have a new perspective on the words.

3. Say the negative thoughts out loud. Hopefully this is an auditory reminder that these are just thoughts, not facts.

4. Remember that thoughts always pass. Thoughts and critical statements often feel really big and painful, but if we can let them pass and fade away instead of clinging to them, they will eventually lose their power and sting. Each moment brings with it space for new thoughts and emotions.

5. Focus on your breathing. Calm your central nervous system by bringing your attention to your breath. Notice the sensation as your breath moves in and out. If your body is overwhelmed or stressed out, your mind will be, too. Use this knowledge to quiet your mind by tending to your body.

6. Boost positive emotions and do activities you enjoy. To counteract the negativity of your inner critic, do things that brighten your mood and make you feel good about yourself. This will strengthen your self-confidence so the negative voice gets drowned out or hopefully has a lesser impact on you.

References

Ritchie, L. C. (2019). Feeling Insecure? 6 Tips to Quiet Your Inner Critic. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/09/26/764695490/feeling-insecure-6-tips-to-quiet-your-inner-critic.