Growth Mindset

One of the beautiful pieces of being human is our ability to change, learn, and grow. When we make a mistake that feels like the end of the world, shifting our attention to what we can learn from it helps lessen the sting of embarrassment. When we hold a perspective that differs from the people around us, but we’re willing to engage in a tough conversation, we open ourselves up to potential growth. Through the conversation, we may see things in a new way, or we may even inspire the other person to think about it differently. In both cases, growth is occurring. Another example of how we continually grow and evolve happens every time we face challenges. When we’re afraid, uncertain, or anxious about an upcoming situation or interaction, yet we face it head-on, we are teaching our brain that we can face scary, tough things and survive. When we face our fears, we often realize it wasn’t as terrifying as we originally thought, and we are stronger than we imagined. 

As you can see, we encounter growth opportunities all the time. The more we can lean in and embrace these moments, the more we will gain from the experience. As Carol Dweck explains in her Ted Talk, we get to choose to operate out of a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. Individuals with a fixed mindset often feel like failures when they make an error. They run from the mistake, doing everything in their power to avoid a future mess-up or imperfection. People with a growth mindset, however, view mistakes as opportunities. Through a growth mindset, we welcome new challenges and learning. 

The good news is that we can all work toward a growth mindset. Even if our current norm is to get stuck in a fixed way of seeing ourselves or a situation, we can shift to a growth mindset. “In one study, we taught [students] that every time they push out of their comfort zone to learn something new and difficult, the neurons in their brain can form new, stronger connections, and over time they can get smarter.” 

As you encounter tough situations and conversations this week, observe which mindset you automatically fall into. The ultimate goal is to approach challenges with an open mind. Ask yourself, “How can I work through this in a way that pushes me to grow, instead of giving up or digging in my heels?” 

Leaning Into Discomfort

We are all experiencing, collectively, a time of great change. We are dealing with the realities of living during a global pandemic, realizing we must find ways to cope with and accept a “new normal.” Our communities are simultaneously speaking out against injustice, bringing to life a movement demanding change. Both COVID-19 and community protests have impacts on us and bring up a range of emotions. It’s extremely valuable to dig into these emotions and experiences right now. Ignoring or avoiding your feelings might help you avoid discomfort in the short term, but will keep you from healing, processing, and growing during this challenging time. 

Suggestions for leaning into discomfort:

• Before we can do anything with an emotion, we must acknowledge it. Really take some time and space to figure out what you’re feeling. Where is it showing up in your body? Maybe your stomach is churning or you notice tension in your shoulders or jaw. Try to describe the discomfort in detail, and give a name to the emotions you’re experiencing. 

• Start to observe your thinking. Ask yourself questions and truly listen for your honest answers. “Why am I feeling uncomfortable?” “Am I afraid of something, and what is it?” “How am I impacted by seeing racial disparities, looting, violence, and peaceful protests?” “Am I seeing the situation in a polarized way--one side good and the other side bad?” “Do I feel defensive when others question my perspective or position of privilege?” “What action am I called to do, and is anything holding me back?”

• Seek out resources to educate yourself on ways to support others. Often we are uncomfortable with things we don’t understand. We can learn about ourselves and others through reading, watching videos, asking questions, and listening to the lived experiences of people around us. Sometimes, the task is to admit that we don’t fully understand, yet we will do our best to still support others. 

• Tune into your values. Our values can serve as a road map for how we show up each day to our own lives and for each other. Reflect on what’s most important to you. Maybe you value family and want to focus on strengthening relationships. This could include talking with loved ones about the current challenges we face as a society. Maybe contributing to your community is important, and you want to explore ways to do this. If you value speaking up and using your voice, maybe you focus on having conversations about this moment in time with people who hold different views from yourself. When our values drive our actions, we have more momentum to push through discomfort because we have a clear end goal. 

• Remember to take care of yourself. When we step into uncomfortable places, we often push ourselves to grow. However, we don’t want to push ourselves to the point of burnout. Therefore, we must always strive for a balance of going out to our growth edge, sitting with the discomfort, and coming back to ourselves through self care. Sometimes we need to allow ourselves a break to rest and rejuvenate.