We are in the midst of a time where there are many uncertainties. Most of us are likely experiencing some form of anxiety as we try to make sense of a situation without clear answers. Uncertainty often compels us to engage in behaviors like seeking reassurance from others, making lists as a way to feel in control of each step in the day, or distracting ourselves from the uncertain reality by keeping our minds and bodies “busy” with other things.
If you find yourself doing any of these behaviors, acknowledge that they are serving a purpose and may not necessarily be causing you harm. By taking a step back, however, you might realize that these behaviors provide immediate relief during this stressful time, without actually teaching your brain how to sit with distressing situations.
If we can find a way to tolerate the emotions, thoughts, and reactions we are experiencing right now, we can get unstuck from the overwhelming feelings of anxiety and possibly even move toward a place of acceptance.
Over the past week, we have seen a range of responses to the spread of COVID-19. Bars and restaurants have moved to take-out/pick-up options, libraries have closed, many mental health providers have transitioned their practices to online platforms, and many businesses have decided to remain open.
Each response has been unique, fueled by so many considerations--the health and safety of employees, the community’s well-being, what makes sense for the business or organization, what service is being provided to people and is it absolutely necessary, etc. In seeing how different facets of our community are responding, it can be challenging to understand why some places are closed and others remain open.
Further, you’ve likely seen a range of individuals’ responses to our current situation, as many people are following social distancing recommendations by staying at home, some are limiting their time with others to work and home, and others are continuing to engage in typical social activities like going to the beach and having parties with friends.
While we won’t necessarily be able to understand each persons’ motivation for staying home or socializing, or the reasoning behind each business’ decision to close or remain open, we can work toward a stance of tolerating the range of choices. In doing so, we can acknowledge that various opinions and behaviors exist, even if we don’t agree.
If you’re finding yourself getting judgmental of what others are doing during this global pandemic, or are struggling with your own internal battle of tolerating uncertainty, here are some suggestions for moving toward a more grounded, accepting place:
Stop the “shoulds”. We must work on letting go of thinking the world should be a certain way. When we get stuck in one way of seeing things, we set ourselves up for disappointment. The task here is to open ourselves up to other possible ways of seeing the situation.
Acknowledge and tackle anxious thoughts. If you’re feeling anxious right now, know that your experience is very normal and most of us are probably feeling similarly. If you can observe what you’re experiencing in your body and what your thoughts are doing, you can work on challenging worry thoughts. Instead of getting stuck in “I can’t tolerate not knowing if my family and friends are going to be safe,” try to say instead, “Not knowing if my family and friends are going to be safe feels really uncomfortable, and I can tolerate the uncertainty.”
Be open to simply observing the uncertainty. One of the best things we can all do right now is practice mindfulness of the present moment. Without trying to change or control your situation, be open and curious about what uncertainty feels like. By tuning into the present moment and getting grounded, our minds are less likely to drift into anxious worries.
References
“How to Tolerate Uncertainty.” Retrieved from https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/infosheet/how-to-tolerate-uncertainty
“Tips on Tolerating Uncertainty.” Retrieved from https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-on-tolerating-uncertainty/